pedro o primeiro

how to find out how old a girl is? ask what her first phone number was, but be careful if she had a pager

“You have a beard - I will hang you. if you don’t have a beard, then live is my answer.”

The pigs must not be fed for several days, and after that they will devour the dismembered corpse for a sweet soul. but in order for the meat to be digested well, the corpse’s head must first be shaved and all its teeth pulled out. Of course, you can do this later, but who wants to pick out the victim’s teeth from pig shit, and they will eat the bones without any problems... -Got it, bitch?!

Even as a child, I realized that Moscow was created for the Dags and other Caucasians, and I built St. Petersburg. © Peter 1

-Dad, I want to get married. -Apologize first. -For what? - I’m sorry. - But for what? What I've done? -just apologize. -but... what is my fault? - apologize. -For what??? - apologize. -Please, at least tell me the reason! - apologize. -okay, dad... excuse me!!! -Now you're ready. your training was successful. when you learn to apologize without any reason, you can get married!

Russian nobility: before Peter the Great, under Peter the Great

The most attractive thing about a woman is her eyes, especially when painted, men fall in love with them at first sight. but even though I fucked you up

Only three people in history walked on water: Jesus, Peter and Anselmo. but only Anselmo has a photo of this moment :)