that's how my brother died

That's how my brother died

-Hello, how did you get there?) -This is his girlfriend, who are you? and why the fuck are you writing to him? -let’s start with the fact that stop calling yourself “his girlfriend” as if it makes you special, you’re his 11th, if I’m not mistaken. secondly, I am the one who can make you his ex-girlfriend in a short time. Now let's start from the beginning. How did my brother get there? fucked up

that's how we live

-Have you seen how long my finger is? -seriously? Fucking hell, have you seen my balls?! - Kolya, that’s enough, let’s go.

that's how we live

-Grandma, how big are your eyes! God, what big ears! and the teeth are simply huge! -That’s why you are my least favorite granddaughter.

-siri, download me the new album of Basta and Smokey Mo. -This violates the first law of robotics. I cannot harm a person.

Yesterday afternoon I was returning home with my girlfriend, when I let go of her hand to take out my phone and take this photo, she got angry with me and didn’t talk to me again that day. but let's be honest, how often have you seen a dog driving around the city?

oh, everything = I mean. you're kidding / nothing happened = I mean