bro

ancient world history

if they talk behind your back, they're just rude

Bruise: *hurts when I touch it* Me: *touch it again* Me: Ay Brain: Touch it again

when you broke up with your internet girlfriend and you hear your brother crying in the room

-where are you now? - from my brother. "brother Anastasia"

-Why did you eat my Snickers, you stupid fool. not yours, don't touch!!!!!! She quickly gave me the money for it!!!! - Why are you hiding him behind mayonnaise like a rat? I ate it purely on principle

a: I love smart and well-read guys. me trying to impress her: dead souls

you're the first girl I brought to my ranch

Mom: your peers got married, gave birth to children, what’s going on in your head? what's in my head: