pagado

off / on

-You are found guilty, your last word? -Comrade Judge, I have a hungry cat at home, there will be no one to feed it. -Why were you silent, you are completely justified

lunar prism. give me an advance

-Guess how my girlfriend saves a Word document? -How? -presses the computer's shutdown button, the computer asks her: save the document? she presses yes. The computer turns off, while saving the document. after which she turns on the computer. profit!

I took the wine from the store. I’m standing, choosing olives. the Gopnik security guard approaches. young man, you have a minute! I screw up my face from the series What the fuck? him: there is a minute left until 23.00 to buy alcohol! I immediately explode, jumping over the goods and rushing to the cash registers. he overtakes me - runs ahead - breaks through the road. At the checkout the line is parting: urgently! wine! cashier: oh, let me give it to you quickly - there’s only a minute left! just paid. Behind me, 2 people apart, there are guys with beer. cashier: oh my god. beer. they won't make it in time. gets up and shouts almost in panic: girls! punch the beer. 30 seconds left! This is what I call civil society.

paradox: free medicine in our country begins with paid shoe covers, and paid medicine with free shoe covers!

-She's so awesome in this new dress. -it's not new. it was erased with affection. - I don't give a fuck. why the hell did you even bring this bottle here? fucked up.

a masterpiece made by everyone who has paint and whose internet was turned off

shit in 60 seconds