historias graciosas

I was at an interview at a company today... the manager gave me a laptop and said: try to sell it to me... well, I took the laptop and left the room with it, and then... left altogether. When I came home, the HR manager called me and started screaming hysterically: return my laptop immediately! I said: 200 bucks and the laptop is yours....

my friend once made fun of a computer science teacher: he took a screenshot of the desktop, deleted all the shortcuts and set that screen as the background image. after several hundred futile attempts to log into my computer, she, not understanding anything, decided to call the service and call a technician. so he came, scratched his turnip and couldn’t think of anything better than to tear down Windows...

The husband runs home, grabs his wife by the hand.., into the bedroom, rushes and throws her on the bed... the wife is shocked.., this has not happened in 20 years. her husband falls towards her, covers them with a blanket over his head and says..: - look! I bought the watch...it glows.

the daughter came without a sled and said that her grandfather and granddaughter asked her to ride them. she told them the address, and they will bring it when they get ready. We are glad that we raised a kind girl, but we read the lecture that she is too trusting. two hours later there was a knock on the door and they brought a sleigh and candy. The daughter reached into her pocket: “Here, I’m returning your phone.”

When I was a kid, when I got a computer, my favorite game was FIFA. I played it every day and beat other teams with ease. I thought I had achieved perfection. One day I invited a friend (he was two years older than me) to play together. Then he told me that all this time it was not me who was playing, but the computer, since before the match it turns out that I had to switch from the computer to the keyboard. you should have seen my face then. It turns out that for six months I stupidly watched team matches, poking at buttons. I haven't played FIFA since then.

I took the wine from the store. I’m standing, choosing olives. the Gopnik security guard approaches. young man, you have a minute! I screw up my face from the series What the fuck? him: there is a minute left until 23.00 to buy alcohol! I immediately explode, jumping over the goods and rushing to the cash registers. he overtakes me - runs ahead - breaks through the road. At the checkout the line is parting: urgently! wine! cashier: oh, let me give it to you quickly - there’s only a minute left! just paid. Behind me, 2 people apart, there are guys with beer. cashier: oh my god. beer. they won't make it in time. gets up and shouts almost in panic: girls! punch the beer. 30 seconds left! This is what I call civil society.

a and b sat on the pipe. a killed, b killed, and killed. The pipe was dismantled and thrown into a landfill. the narrator was found in the car with his throat cut. Only you remained alive, the only witness to this terrible story. just for how long...

Friends moved to a private house with their cat Petrovich. in the morning they went out onto the porch and called the cat to feed. the neighbor was leaving his house at the same time, and they said hello. a couple of months later, a neighbor asked why the hell they call him every morning, say hello and go back home.

An interesting story happened to me last night. I was returning home. and then, out of nowhere, two of these rather big Arkharovites rolled up to me and asked me to call the phone. Well, of course, I refused and they began to be insolent, well, in short, a fight broke out. at that time, nearby they were playing with a schoolboy, well, 11-12 years old, and they saw it all and the second of them ran closer and began throwing stones at the gopniks, and one of them, apparently, got scared and ran home. but after 1 minute, these big little men came out of this house, who quickly grabbed them and gave them a punch. The gopniks quickly picked up their teeth from the asphalt and crawled back home. It turns out that this boy ran home to call his family, thereby saving me from inevitable bruises and knocked out teeth. p.s. Not all children are shkolota, and many of them are very good and kind. all the best:] - sir, you are just lucky!