du hast eine falsche nummer angegeben

-What do you have in your bag? -bottle of rum. -Did you call a bottle of vodka rum? - Yes.

-They sent us a photo from behind. You've got the wrong number, but thanks :) - you're stupid!

The husband wakes up after a brutal drinking session, looks, the linen is washed and ironed, hung on the high chair, breakfast and a bottle of beer on the table. the wife left for work without saying a word, without hysterics. he says to his son: son, what happened yesterday? Dad, you came home drunk at two in the morning and fell on the bed. and when your mother tried to undress you, you said: “Don’t touch me, bitch, I’m married!”

-Why did you leave Nikita? -at night he tried to lick my ass while I was sleeping. -fuck. -just kidding, you have the wrong number

you have a spider on your neck!!! damn!! kill him!!!

son, you've been looking at your desktop for half an hour. -because you’ve been watching me look at my desktop for half an hour already..

Haven't you been chattering for an hour?