私は街にいます

Me: “I’m hiding a secret from the whole city.” my mother, who decided to hang my clothes after washing:

when the chicks find out that I'm in town

Moscow is, in short, a city of gnomes: we love grandmas, loads of money, a lot of bearded men and awesome underground metro palaces. St. Petersburg are elves: some kind of half-pokers with off-the-scale self-esteem, a subtle sensual nature and local patriotism. the rest of Russia is inhabited by Orcs.

Today all your classmates will be drunk. what am I talking about?

work as a guide in my city - look to the left, there’s nothing there. look to the right, there's nothing there.

when a guy doesn't know what I'm talking about

A car drives by from which a guy leans out up to his waist and shouts to the whole street: “I defended my diploma sir!!!!” It’s immediately obvious that an educated person has gone.

I drilled your mouth

at the end of every marvel movie we did it! we saved the city!

-Darling, you are a log. -I am Groot.