土豆

even potatoes get Wi-Fi better than my phone

sometimes I cry when I peel potatoes, I don’t want the onion to think that he’s a freak or something like that.

when you fry potatoes

does that mean I'm your lunch? and I thought we were friends..

humans have 46 chromosomes, 2 less than potatoes.

apocalypse in Belarusian

-Can you imagine my potatoes fell off the table? she almost fell, and I caught her. Like Flash or Batman, I caught a potato! -Remind me why I'm still with you? -boobs. -oh, yes. wonderful, my love)