смешные истории

The husband runs home, grabs his wife by the hand.., into the bedroom, rushes and throws her on the bed... the wife is shocked.., this has not happened in 20 years. her husband falls towards her, covers them with a blanket over his head and says..: - look! I bought the watch...it glows.

the daughter came without a sled and said that her grandfather and granddaughter asked her to ride them. she told them the address, and they will bring it when they get ready. We are glad that we raised a kind girl, but we read the lecture that she is too trusting. two hours later there was a knock on the door and they brought a sleigh and candy. The daughter reached into her pocket: “Here, I’m returning your phone.”

When I was a kid, when I got a computer, my favorite game was FIFA. I played it every day and beat other teams with ease. I thought I had achieved perfection. One day I invited a friend (he was two years older than me) to play together. Then he told me that all this time it was not me who was playing, but the computer, since before the match it turns out that I had to switch from the computer to the keyboard. you should have seen my face then. It turns out that for six months I stupidly watched team matches, poking at buttons. I haven't played FIFA since then.

I took the wine from the store. I’m standing, choosing olives. the Gopnik security guard approaches. young man, you have a minute! I screw up my face from the series What the fuck? him: there is a minute left until 23.00 to buy alcohol! I immediately explode, jumping over the goods and rushing to the cash registers. he overtakes me - runs ahead - breaks through the road. At the checkout the line is parting: urgently! wine! cashier: oh, let me give it to you quickly - there’s only a minute left! just paid. Behind me, 2 people apart, there are guys with beer. cashier: oh my god. beer. they won't make it in time. gets up and shouts almost in panic: girls! punch the beer. 30 seconds left! This is what I call civil society.

Friends moved to a private house with their cat Petrovich. in the morning they went out onto the porch and called the cat to feed. the neighbor was leaving his house at the same time, and they said hello. a couple of months later, a neighbor asked why the hell they call him every morning, say hello and go back home.